So, this post is prompted by fear. At this point in time, a shouting match is ensuing in the house of the neighbour directly above mine. I can hear a tireless tirade that reeks of vehemence, bitterness and pain from this lady neighbour. It’s funny this is affecting me so much because I’ve grown accustomed to endless.shouting matches in my own family too, but this one moves me, for so many reasons. There are kids- young ones in that home who have to witness their parents screaming at one another (I’ve heard heavy objects being hurled around before too( chairs presumably), and that scared the hell out of me because the last thing we need is domestic abuse.
How did we get here? I’m thinking about this lady neighbour of mine- I’ve not bumped into her often enough to even strike small talk with her. She seems like a.reserved lady, petite, quite attractive with a short bob, she works (I can tell from.the uniform she.wears- probably a security guard/protection officer sonewhere). Moved in only about a yr+ ago. To be honest, that’s all I know- in fact, now that I think about it, I don’t think I’ve met her husband before, but I know my grandma has. Grandmothers /mothers/aunties are good like that- they put bird watchers’ observance skills to shame. “Oh, that malay lady, she married a chinese guy!” that’s what I can recall my grandma.saying in the early days there was a ruckus over who’s the new neighbour who.just moved in.
It’s quiet now, no more shouts. I hope somehow- the husband just made peace with the.wife , like just maybe, hug her tight and say I know you’re hurt and angry and I’m sorry repeatedly until she cools down. In my imaginary mind, she would break down in tears, and just sob on her husband’s shoulders, and let all those troubles weighing down on her heart out (cue to play Frozen “Let it go” in the background- no, just kidding). And then whilst crying, their kids would come over and hug their parents too, and they’d all hug awkwardly in that symphony of sobs, which will eventually morph into chuckles and smiles- worn out smiles but lighter all the same.
Dreams. I hope they pan out that way for them.
Doesn’t it scare you though? People marrying one another, some do end up in bitter fights, and that’s ok- because I guess there will be disagreements though hopefully not too vile ones. But it’s scary when you think about how some couples’ only version of marriage reality is bitter and painful, devoid of compassion and love. How do we stay happy? How can one be assured that you will end up with the right one who’s calm enough to talk.things through, to be the yin to your yang, and the water to when you’re fire and.vice versa.
The same lack of which can at times lead to the big painful D we come across ever so often these days.
Well. I know we all have that conventional wisdom wrt this, ask any young bachelor and single and he/she can readily dispense wise advice on how to stay happily married. That’s not it, then, is it? It’s in the application that we fail, when familiarity breeds contempt, when we believe we deserve better, or that we know better, when we’re only concerned with “my views, my expectations, my feelings…”
May God guide us all, and grant us patience for every moment that we need it, God -be-willing.
Sorry, a rather sombre photo that has no direct link to the topic, but intended to inspire you and I to think – what can we say we’ve left behind after we leave this world? What kind of values do you want to be remembered by?
Ps: these were part of the Bone museum in Kutna Hora, Prague. Go google it, fascinating stuff.
Choose love, guys. 🙂