You see a door swaying.. The impact of a forceful gust of wind. You hesitate. Should you rush forward to push a door stopper in, or leave the door to its fate – pushed by the wind to slam itself shut loudly.
No fiction, it’s a real everyday scenario in my room, one that I’ve grown used to over the past few days. One that symbolises much to me. Over the past 5 days, I’ve been so sick with a bout of viral fever, reaching the highs of 39 degrees celsius, accompanied with a sore throat, runny nose, nausea and a cough that left my stomach muscles strong (and sore, haha). It also left me without a voice, a bare whimper to communicate with my loved ones, to express my wants and to convey how I was feeling. Something that really worried my family members as that was so uncharacteristically me.
A humbling experience indeed. It made me realize how badly I wanted to get well soon, so that I could stop worrying them, and stop burdening them. ( I even passed the bug to my dear grandmother. 😦 May Allah SWT grant her a speedy recovery, In Shaa Allah) This experience woke me up, as a reminder of what my life means, and how it can only go, the way He wills for it to, how I should be patient, and cherish every moment, and make the best of it, for Allah SWT knows what you (I) don’t, and that hardships at times, may be blessings in disguise too. Through my illness, the bouts of nausea, painful coughing, shivering, sore limbs, I realized this – that life exists in these moments where we pay attention to Him. Not the moments when you are well, high-spirited, bouncing with excitement, but heedless of Allah, but even the humblest moments when you are down, depleted, in pain, but in quiet gratitude, and patience, and in peace with Allah SWT – that’s when you’re most alive.
It puts everything in my life into perspective. It makes me a lot more thankful for the trying times too (ironically, yes) but these trying times are the ones that bring us closer to Him, don’t you realize? I just realized. When in pain, we turn to HIm for refuge, and for comfort, for He is the Ar-Rahman, Ar Raheem (The Most Merciful, Most Compassionate), and only Allah SWT can guide us.
I pray that I will maximize my living moments on Dunia, in remembrance, Ya Allah, truly living with You close to my Heart, Ameen Ya Rabb’ A’lameen.
May this post be an encouragement to you too, In Shaa Allah. Have you experienced any moment in your life where you felt closest to Him? Do share! 🙂